not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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