i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
