There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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