Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
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Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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