Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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