another moral hangover. fuck.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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