Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
