That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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