He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
