I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
