Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
