the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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