i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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