Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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