I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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