So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
