I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
