if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
