carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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