New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
