yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Alive.
So much puke
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I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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