I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
