So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
