dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
