in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
