I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
