She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
