its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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