Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
