Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
