porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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