how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
