pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just high enough for therapy.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
