I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
