Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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