Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
