He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
