i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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