I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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