And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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