Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
