My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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