I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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