I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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