K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
