he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize