I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
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It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
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Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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