yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
