Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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