dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
