The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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