I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
