id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
