You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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