it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I showed him my bush... on skype.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
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Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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