I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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