so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
