thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
