my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
