Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
